Caught in Between

It has been a few month’s since I poured what my mind feels and thinks. The emotive response that I have received after sharing that I was having a total hysterectomy was “it’s for the best”🙄. You learn to smile graciously as you think about the miscarriage of injustice that has evoked your womb for a decade. The stillbirth of presence that has held you in silence. Thinking how you begged God to allow your body just ☝️ time to hold on to expectancy of unborn access. My soul aches.

Being Strong in Faithless Moments

I am reminded of Paul in Timothy 2:1-13. It reminds me of how even in suffering the strength of Grace is what keeps me. These last few months of decisions has made me feel despair. I have cried tears that only God understands. But in those tears God reminded me of the absolution of Grace. Grace that has sustained me.

Today, I am giving myself permission to feel pain. Understanding that my physical womb will be abandoned in 4 days but my spiritual womb is getting ready to carry this baby to full term. The guidance of labor to push. Knowing that God has given me Grace to rest upon His word and birth greatness.
Joshua 1:9 Be strong and courageous; do notbe frightened or dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.